I remember the night we closed the acquisition of RemoteTeam. We’d just been acquired by Gusto. You’d think I’d be celebrating, right? Champagne, high-fives, all that jazz. Instead, I was sitting in my car, in the office parking lot, feeling… empty. The exit, the thing every founder dreams of, had happened. And yet, I felt a profound sense of loneliness, a feeling that had been my shadow for years.
This is the side of entrepreneurship nobody talks about. We glorify the hustle, the sleepless nights, the billion-dollar exits. But we don’t talk about the mental toll. We don’t talk about the crushing weight of responsibility, the constant fear of failure, and the isolation that comes with being at the top.
The Founder's Paradox: Surrounded by People, Yet Utterly Alone
As a founder, you're always surrounded by people. Your team, your investors, your customers. But here's the paradox: you can be in a room full of people and feel completely, utterly alone. You can't share your deepest fears with your employees; you have to be the strong, unwavering leader. You can't always be brutally honest with your investors; you have to project confidence, even when you're riddled with doubt.
This is the loneliness I'm talking about. It's a unique brand of isolation that stems from the immense pressure and the unique position you hold. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that ache in the pit of my stomach, the feeling that nobody truly understands what you're going through.
My Battle with Burnout
With my first company, MovieLaLa, I was obsessed. I worked 18-hour days, seven days a week. I thought that was what it took to be successful. And for a while, it worked. We were growing, we were getting noticed. But I was a wreck. I was constantly anxious, I wasn't sleeping, and my relationships were suffering. I was a classic case of a founder on the fast track to burnout.
I remember one particular week. We were about to launch a major new feature. The pressure was immense. I hadn't slept for what felt like days. I was irritable, I was making bad decisions, and I was alienating my team. It all came to a head when my co-founder sat me down and said, 'Sahin, you look like hell. You need to take a break.' That was my wake-up call.
Building a Moat for Your Mind: Strategies for Resilience
That conversation was a turning point. I realized that I couldn't sustain that pace. I had to find a way to build resilience, to protect my mental health. Here's what I learned, often the hard way:
Therapy is not a weakness. For a long time, I thought therapy was for people who couldn't handle their problems. I was wrong. Therapy has been one of the most important investments I've made in myself. Having a neutral third party to talk to, someone who isn't emotionally invested in your company, is invaluable. It's a safe space to explore your fears, your anxieties, and your frustrations.
Find your tribe. You need people in your life who you can be completely honest with. For me, it's a small group of fellow founders. We have a regular dinner where we can vent, share our struggles, and celebrate our wins. These are the people who get it. They understand the unique pressures of being a founder. Find your tribe. It will make all the difference.
Prioritize your physical health. You can't have a healthy mind without a healthy body. This is something I learned the hard way. I now make it a point to exercise every day, even if it's just a 30-minute walk. I also prioritize sleep. I know it's tempting to pull all-nighters, but it's not sustainable. Your brain needs time to rest and recharge.
Disconnect. In a world where we're always connected, it's more important than ever to disconnect. I have a strict no-devices-in-the-bedroom rule. I also make it a point to take regular breaks throughout the day, to step away from my computer and do something completely unrelated to work.
The Ripple Effect: Your Mental Health and Your Company's Success
Here's the thing: your mental health isn't just about you. It has a direct impact on your company. When you're burned out, you're not making good decisions. You're not inspiring your team. You're not leading effectively.
I've seen it happen time and time again. A founder who is struggling with their mental health will inevitably see that reflected in their company's performance. The two are inextricably linked.
Investing in your mental health is not a luxury. It's a necessity. It's one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for your company.
The Road Ahead
I still have days when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. The loneliness still creeps in from time to time. But now, I have the tools to deal with it. I have my tribe, I have my therapist, and I have my daily routines that keep me grounded.
The entrepreneurial journey is a marathon, not a sprint. It's a long and often lonely road. But it doesn't have to be a road that you travel alone. Build your support system. Prioritize your mental health. And remember, you are not alone.
I’ve made over 200 angel investments in companies like Anthropic, OpenAI, and Scale AI. I’ve seen hundreds of founders at their best and at their worst. The ones who succeed, the ones who build truly great companies, are the ones who understand that their mental health is their most valuable asset. Don't neglect it.
The Myth of the 10x Founder
We love to talk about the '10x engineer,' the mythical programmer who can do the work of ten others. But what about the '10x founder'? The truth is, there's no such thing. There are just founders who have learned how to build sustainable companies, and a huge part of that is learning how to sustain themselves.
I used to think that to be a successful founder, I had to be a superhero. I had to be invincible. I had to be able to do everything myself. This is a dangerous myth. It's a recipe for disaster. The most successful founders I know are the ones who are self-aware enough to know their own limits. They're the ones who are not afraid to ask for help. They're the ones who have built a strong support system around them.
A New Definition of Success
For a long time, my definition of success was all about the exit. It was about the acquisition, the IPO, the big payday. But after two successful exits, I've come to realize that's a very narrow definition of success. It's a definition that leaves you feeling empty, even when you've achieved it.
My definition of success has changed. It's no longer just about the financial outcome. It's about the journey. It's about building something meaningful. It's about creating a company culture where people can do their best work. And it's about doing all of that without sacrificing my own well-being.
This is the new paradigm for entrepreneurship. It's a paradigm that recognizes that founders are human beings, not machines. It's a paradigm that understands that mental health is not a bug, it's a feature. It's a paradigm that celebrates resilience, not just hustle.
So, if you're a founder who is struggling, I want you to know that you're not alone. I want you to know that it's okay to not be okay. I want you to know that there is a better way. A way to build a great company without destroying yourself in the process. It's a long road, but it's a road worth traveling.
A Costly Mistake: When My Mental State Clouded My Judgment
I can pinpoint a specific moment at MovieLaLa where my burnout directly cost us. We were in the middle of a critical negotiation with a major studio for a content partnership. It was a deal that could have significantly accelerated our growth. But I was running on fumes. I was sleep-deprived, my anxiety was through the roof, and I was completely overwhelmed.
During a key meeting, I was impatient and aggressive. I pushed too hard on a minor point, a detail that in the grand scheme of things didn't really matter. The studio executive, a seasoned veteran, saw my desperation. He saw that I wasn't thinking clearly. He pulled back, and the deal fell apart. I was devastated. It took me months to realize that it wasn't the deal that was flawed; it was my state of mind. I had let my own mental exhaustion sabotage a massive opportunity. That was a painful, and expensive, lesson.
How to Actually Find Your Tribe
I mentioned finding your tribe, but what does that actually look like in practice? It's not about just networking. It's about building deep, meaningful connections with people who you can be vulnerable with. Here are a few things that have worked for me:
- Founder Groups: There are many curated founder groups out there. Some are paid, some are free. Do your research and find one that aligns with your values and stage of business. The key is to find a group where there is a high level of trust and confidentiality.
- Peer Mentors: Find a few other founders who are at a similar stage as you. Schedule regular check-ins with them. This isn't about giving each other business advice; it's about holding each other accountable and providing emotional support.
- The 'Second-Time Founder' Network: If you're a second or third-time founder, you have a unique advantage. You've been through the ringer before. Reach out to other experienced founders. There's an unspoken bond between us, a shared understanding of the scars and the triumphs.
The Power of Boundaries: Drawing a Line in the Sand
One of the hardest things for a founder to do is to set boundaries. We're wired to be always on, always available. But this is a recipe for burnout. You have to be ruthless about protecting your time and energy. Here are a few boundaries that I've found to be essential:
- No-Meeting Days: I have one day a week where I don't take any meetings. This is my deep work day. It's the day I can focus on strategy, on product, on the things that really move the needle.
- The '48-Hour Rule': For non-urgent emails, I give myself 48 hours to respond. This might sound like a long time, but it's a game-changer. It frees you from the tyranny of the inbox and allows you to be more proactive, not reactive.
- Family Time is Sacred: When I'm with my family, I'm with my family. I put my phone away. I'm present. This is non-negotiable. Your family is your rock. Don't let your startup become an excuse to neglect them.
Building a successful company is a marathon, not a sprint. And in a marathon, pacing is everything. You can't redline for the entire race. You have to know when to push, and when to pull back. You have to know how to conserve your energy. And you have to have a team of people who are cheering you on from the sidelines. That's how you win. Not just the race, but the whole damn championship.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the most common pushback you get on this?
People often push back by citing exceptions or edge cases. And they're usually right that exceptions exist. But building a strategy around exceptions rather than patterns is a losing game for most founders.
How can I apply this thinking to my own situation?
Start by identifying the core principle behind the opinion, not the specific example. Then ask yourself: does this principle apply to my context? If yes, test it in a small, low-risk way before going all in.
What experience informs this perspective?
This perspective comes from over a decade of building companies in Silicon Valley, two successful exits (RemoteTeam to Gusto, MovieLaLa to Gfycat), and investing in 200+ startups including Anthropic, OpenAI, and Scale AI. I write about what I've lived.
How has this view evolved over time?
My thinking on most topics has changed significantly over the years. Early in my career, I held many conventional views that experience proved wrong. I try to update my beliefs when the evidence changes.